Sitting at my desk today I was booking travel arrangements in the Sacramento area. Typically this consists of checking availability, rates, and destination distances. If the hotel is within these constraints, I book. I speak with these people all the time and I have come to being very friendly with them as you speak with some interesting people. I’m typically overly pleasant, helpful, clear and all around polite, as I like to be spoken too. I happened to say something today that even caught myself offguard.
I called a Hampton and was transferred over to a friendly female counterpart with the same attitude as I had. In this case I tried to outdo her, which in turn she tried to “out-sweet talk” me. This conversation got fluffier, cheesier and by midexchange it was like the gushy part of a Disney movie. If our conversation were the weather, it would have been all rainbows and sunrays. If our conversation were an animal, it would be a soft puppy that cried gumdrops. If our conversation were a color, it would be tickled pink. If our conversation played music, it would be something with a harp… and puppies licking the face of a newborn baby who was laughing while lying on a cloud with the Raisin Bran sun smiling and pouring two scoops of freaking happiness all over the Barney song. This conversation had more cheese than a… you get the point.
Then once again, with one sentence I completely destroyed this conversation with this innuendo.
She asked how would I prefer to book the room.
I told her by credit card.
She replied for me to go ahead and start reading it back to her when ready.
“Not a problem at all! Tell me though, how do YOU want ME to give it to you?”
I heard her take a breath.
Whooops. It’s one of those moments when you first want to go back in time and rephrase that. Then immediately it turned to hilarity. I could tell she was flustered. I couldn’t say anything else without laughing into the phone. The conversation ended awkwardly. Who cares. I made an unconscience sexual pass at a hotel attendant and honestly didn’t mean anything bad by it. Freud would say I wanted to do bad things to her. I’m keeping a log from here out of these moments. They’re worth it.