“I’m looking for a skinny girl with a fat girl personality”
Seems shallow? Yes. Meant to be shallow? No. But is it true? I’ll let you decide.
Ever notice that the majority of skinny attractive girls have terrible, rotten, empty personalities. They cannot make conversation so they talk about Mtv, Victoria Secret sales, and their next tanning adventure. Behind those huge designer sunglasses lies emptiness. An emptiness that drowns anything into a blackhole of nothingness. Cosmopolitan, Tequila Rose shots, and Coach purses.
I’m in love with it. ALL of it. However, as time has passed and a certain level of maturity and self respect have made their foundation to my future, I need more. Sure they’re fun to play with. Just like the video games at Best Buy. You can sit there all day playing one, but you dare take it home.
Now hold that thought. That was the easy part.
Now lets discuss the other side of this theory. The not so skinny girls. Don’t stop reading here, because this is where the pieces fall together. Admit it. Now I say not so skinny girls because I’d probably get a ton of responses in regards to “not being p.c.” or “judgemental”. Well when I use the term “fat”, let it be known I mean, “not skinny”. You can be fat and beautiful. Easily. Just as easily as you can be skinny and whorishly disgusting. So enough beating around the buffet, here it goes…
Fat girls have the greatest personalities on this earth. I link this to the social food chain. They are not to the same advantage as a skinny girl, so they must develop a means of survival; the opportunity to turn the tables. Fat girls have the ability to hone in on your personality, determine your interests through reading your expressions, and cater to this personality. This can be used for good and evil. It could be an argument in it’s own that skinny girls unconsciencely bring fat girls around because they are the life of the party. They have nothing to talk about so they bring the missing piece to make up for it.
I just feel like I covered every A) island at every golden corral or b) every whore sale at the mall.
I now plan on making a Venn Diagram
I’m sitting at my desk yesterday lost in the afternoon fastlane. Completely in my own world with a set of headphones in slapping away at a keyboard as if it had been a bad girl. I am lost into the screens in front of me when right above my screen in the distance is 2 people walking around. I focus in to notice that it is obviously a new employee getting a tour of her new stomping grounds. The tour heads my way as I cannot help but to pay attention.
They are soon standing to my side at the cabinets by my desk explaining what each person does in the company. This is pretty typical as it seems I have met several new faces recently but it’s still interesting to watch the tour as it makes for a small break away from the screens. The individual is explaining to the new hire what the person next to me does within their group when the new hire, interupts with the greatest (and by greatest I mean, probably not the best time to make such an observation) A.D.D. moment in years.
Employee, “And if you look over this way, this is our…”
New Hire, “Oh this is an echo room! Echhooooooooo!”.
This was not a child. This was not a teenager. This was a grown ass adult. Dressed professional. You really just interupted your future supervisor on your company orientation to announce that not only do you feel that you are in an echo room, but you test the boundaries of said room with a loud long outburst to see if your own voice echos.
And on top of it all, you selected the word “echo” as the test word.
The employee just gave a look to the new hire and lead them out of the room.
Fail.
Sitting at my desk today I was booking travel arrangements in the Sacramento area. Typically this consists of checking availability, rates, and destination distances. If the hotel is within these constraints, I book. I speak with these people all the time and I have come to being very friendly with them as you speak with some interesting people. I’m typically overly pleasant, helpful, clear and all around polite, as I like to be spoken too. I happened to say something today that even caught myself offguard.
I called a Hampton and was transferred over to a friendly female counterpart with the same attitude as I had. In this case I tried to outdo her, which in turn she tried to “out-sweet talk” me. This conversation got fluffier, cheesier and by midexchange it was like the gushy part of a Disney movie. If our conversation were the weather, it would have been all rainbows and sunrays. If our conversation were an animal, it would be a soft puppy that cried gumdrops. If our conversation were a color, it would be tickled pink. If our conversation played music, it would be something with a harp… and puppies licking the face of a newborn baby who was laughing while lying on a cloud with the Raisin Bran sun smiling and pouring two scoops of freaking happiness all over the Barney song. This conversation had more cheese than a… you get the point.
Then once again, with one sentence I completely destroyed this conversation with this innuendo.
She asked how would I prefer to book the room.
I told her by credit card.
She replied for me to go ahead and start reading it back to her when ready.
“Not a problem at all! Tell me though, how do YOU want ME to give it to you?”
I heard her take a breath.
Whooops. It’s one of those moments when you first want to go back in time and rephrase that. Then immediately it turned to hilarity. I could tell she was flustered. I couldn’t say anything else without laughing into the phone. The conversation ended awkwardly. Who cares. I made an unconscience sexual pass at a hotel attendant and honestly didn’t mean anything bad by it. Freud would say I wanted to do bad things to her. I’m keeping a log from here out of these moments. They’re worth it.
She could organize a revolution in a blink of an eye
The supreme ruler
Her scream fuels the fires of hell, in which she controls.
Even a simple sneeze could make the gods bow at her feet.
She holds the duties of judge, jury AND executioner. The latter of course.. Is her favorite
Talons sharp as a diamonds edge
Curious over what happened to Tupac? She happened
That wasn’t a hurricane that hit New Orleans. She just gave it a once over.
The crying souls beg to be spared, which she merely turns the other way
She feasts on the remains of her prey
She stands 11 inches tall
And she likes squeeky toys and hot dogs
