Phishr Chronicles

I just get so excited with the revelations that transpire regarding this family.

So here’s where we begin. Lynne Spears, mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn has finished her recent literature on helpful parenting. book

This is wonderful. As you know, Britney is well… yeah.

http://freebiesblog.net/media/celebs/britney/britney_baby04.jpg

The only hope for the family to save the Spears name rest on the shoulders of 16 year old Jamie. I’m NOT going to badmouth her (unlike her sibling Britney) but seriously? The LAST thing this family needed was an unplanned teenage pregnancy… Read more

I am solely using fraternal nicknames for this one.

Once, in a time long ago, something like, oh… February 22^nd 2003 to be exact I met what will now be known as the CRAZIEST group of college kids the U.S. could ever brew up. These kids disgusted me with the amount of alcohol they could drink. And they all called Rolla, Missouri home. Rolla, MO, a town that shuts down and has something like a 3 day St. Patty’s day festival. THE TOWN STOPS FUNCTIONING ALL TOGETHER! Imagine that.

My fraternity has its typical scholars, athletes, public servants, etc. But there was a group of us that took “fun hunting” a little too far, but nonetheless always had something exciting to talk about on Mondays. We have (nationally) this traveling trophy that’s main purpose is to get chapters to road trip to other chapters in order to extend relations, and develop friendships all over the U.S. Upon staying with the hosting chapter overnight, your chapter takes the road trip trophy back home and another chapter gets to come get it from you. Pretty fun sounding idea right?

Our group had decided to travel from Tahlequah to Rolla, Missouri at the University of Missouri-Rolla engineering school. This engineering school is quite prestigious, so we instantly assumed we were gonna be staying at some lame chapter full of tools (yeah we were judgmental, that’s what we get for assuming). The trip was calculated at somewhere around 4 and a half hours. There were 8 of us, crammed into a conversion van; not to mention 4 of us were up in Tulsa all night for one of the guy’s birthday. Very vague night, I didn’t really drink too much because I was driving the birthday guys car back to Tahlequah that night, I do recall how cold it was with the window down on the Muskogee turnpike at 2 A.M. with him puking out the window. Classy group of lads weren’t we.

Read more

Before I begin, there is no category for such subject so I chose Art and Photography, face it porn is not porn anymore, with all the weird stuff today.

I am not too complex of a guy. But the smut out these days is revolting. While hanging out with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while, we were on the subject of such topic and the term “snuff films” came up. I was oblivious to this until later defined as “a film of actual human death” in which most cases are a porno flick with a person being killed in the end. 

Did you catch this?

People get their jollies to this! 
Being a guy with many other guy friends you do hear and come across some weird shit (I usually try not to cuss in my blogs but it really is SHIT). I find porn to be disgusting in the first place, if you are my age I grew up with “soft-core-made-for-cable-have-an-imagination-USA network-silk stockings” porn. You know what I’m talking about? The sex scenes were necking and an occasional side boob. Yeah! Yeah youngstas! I rememeber no internet, someone getting their hands on a dirty magazine days! If you can relate to any of these you know what I speak of..

So I now ask, what brings people to sink to this level? Everyone knows a guy tugs one off every now and then (I apologize if my sisters read this) but if it is something that your family saw in yor own private collection do you not get embarassed? I own no porn, have none on my computer and the only “adult magazine” I look at is Playboy.. (I read the girls).  Is this where you want Jesus to find you? Watching a woman and an animal? Yuck… I’m not disgusted by alot of things, but from what the internet has taught me, as well as friends from college, people are into some things that would make a seagull toss cookies..
Did you know people dress up as fuzzy play animals and rock each other?
How about Instrumental sodomy? Yeah, revolting.

This is all connected to Dateline: To catch a Predator..  I swear.. Stick with me here..

Porn can be classified as a pyramid of perversion correct? You have your Comedy Central Late Night Girls Gone Wild infomercials with the boobies censored out with boxes that look like they copied and pasted from the old Batman shows.  Like over her naughty sections it says WHAM! or OH SNAP!!!
Anyways thats the basement to this pyramid. 
Then you go up to your HBO porn, and so on until you get to the top tiers of this pervers-a-mid, which would account for illegal sexual predator stuff. Then topping this pyramid would have to be this snuff fantasy (which is basically like a rape murder fantasy).  When said porn enthusiasts gets bored and isn’t feeling it in current tier, they kick up the fantasy a notch.  This snowballs (haha) until desire becomes a personal reality. In stated diagram I have generalized green as normal, yellow can have degrees of normality but is more or less a danger zone for the next tier, which I classified as perverted.  If yu are in this level you need psychological help.  I might not be an advocate to the definition of normal but if you’re defending how you like to be cut and poopooed on then quit. There is still hope for this level….But…
Not the next level.  You have officially fallen into the “people like this get beaten, sodomized, and killed in a very illustrated way in prison” perverted.  There is a reason you cannot live by schools.  Inmates have it out for cons like you in the state pen.  Guards oversee your abuse.  My only advise to you is practice how to tear and tie mattress material, because thats the only thing to hang yourself with in your cell when you are being constantly tortured.

Back to Dateline.. 

I do believe they deserve punishments, some of which should be years in prison, like the cops/teachers that show up at the house with rubbers, crack, their 4 year old child, rope, blunt objects, etc.  But one way or another I still get confused.  If you watch the show then you have inevitably seen the guys who show up WITH prior hints that it is a sting, questioned their very own judgement, stood outside and contemplated entering the dwelling AND GO THROUGH WITH IT?!
WHY?
You drive 5 hours at 2 a.m. and question your judgement on the front porch? Good god, go inside, sit down with the cookies and just be honest with Chris Hansen.. Because you’re not fooling anyone when you try to convince America that you were there to give “advice and guidance”, or you came by to “watch movies”

-What I’d like to hear on an episode once-

Chris Hansen “How you doin? Why don’t you go ahead and have a seat there”

Predator “”How you doin sir..”

C.H. “Good! So wanna tell me what your here for tonight?”

Predator “Well sir, *takes a bite of cookie, nods head* I’m here to get my pencil wet with some extremely underage girl where I then plan..
                    *Compliments them on delicious cookies*
…to knock her out, tie her up, rob this mother fucker blind and burn the house down as I drive 5 hours back home laughing and counting the jewelry..”

C.H. “Oh… Well… Hmmm.. Kinda took the fun out of this one didn’t you”

Predator “What can I say Chris Hansen,  hey.. Got any milk for these cookies?”

I’d love to hear that.  Granted he would be facing conspiracy charges but it’s better than the perverts that come in and play off like they’re lost and need directions or something.

Anyways, What my final point was is to make people aware of this, and add a smile on a face as well
Now back to getting sodomized by a donkey while drinking blood and being shocked with car batteries.  Later freaks…

Ahhh… The age of the superstar, the idol, the media icon. “Normals” want to date them, or be compared to them all in an attempt to be more like them or their lifestyle. These people are who they are because it is what their publicist says or even better, how the media portrays them.

I have always known that MTV had a large part in this.

M-T-V; The age 10-30 multi diversity conglomerate. Congratulations to them for their conquest of the brainwaves of any young adult of any diversity, of any region, of any culture, of any “clique” all over the world. I, for one, refuse to devote any part of my day to any program that first off, lost all track when the music videos were only being played at 3 a.m. and devote more time to the manipulation of the brainwaves through the airwaves (sound familiar? IT’S CALLED PROPAGANDA). We see these “stars” have it all, seen it all, done it all in the world. Nobody understands that they haven’t spoken for themselves since the day prior to signing their life away. And when they DO speak for themselves, have you heard the senseless gibberish that comes out of that hole in their face? From “George Bush hates black people” to “I get to go to a lot of overseas places, like Canada”.
I know I will get a vast amount of responses that say “you’re just jealous of them” or It’s cause they make more money than you” well if so let me clear that up. I will never be jealous of someone, unless that jealousy stems due to a wonderful deed, in which case, yes, who wouldn’t want to take the place of someone in a heroic act? And quite frankly, just because they make more money doesn’t mean they control it. Any purchases made that could influence them in another way through the publics eye MUST go through a publicist or an agent in order too not obstruct the “image” they have to maintain. You call them rich; I call them powerless, a puppet, and a pawn.

Ever get bored? Study into the actual lifestyle of a social icon! No wonder they write all those after-the-life novels about no one caring, feeling empty, drug addiction, and suicide. It’s their last grasp at fame! And when they begin to realize that still no one cares, they kill themselves or go into rehab. Why not? It’s the perfect closing chapter to the empty story they call life.
Too bad intelligence doesn’t make you look better in the Medias eye.

But what I am getting too is something that I enjoy so dearly when it happens to these “social icons” per say. The great fall from stardom. Absolutely funny. The beginning of the end as someone might say. When the drug habit goes public or when the hair clippers come out… Ahhh yes, Britney “take a hit one more time” Spears.
This has been a funny one. Since her and her booger sugar buddies have polluted my news waves with their cries for attention and more publicity, I have long waited this one…
Remember when this floozy was once said to be the “perfect icon for the typical teenage girl and not that whore Aguilera”. My oh my, for once the cage got shook. As I logged online today I had received several links to this video clip of a not-so-in shape, disoriented, lip syncing cow trying to grasp at what might be left of a good name for herself by parading (see: half stupor) around stage and murmuring chants like some fiend high off of a 3 day free-base binge. I smiled. I still can’t believe someone lets her raise children, I’d have better results giving a child to Michael Jackson (at least they would go to a carnival everyday and not be the responsible one to drive). Did you see the crowd reactions when she was center stage? Priceless.

So I have devised a checklist of how to know when that bright star you call yourself is turning into a black hole.

• Rehab check-in become as frequent as vacations. (They even have a rehab spa!)
• The only tabloid pictures are of you neglecting your children.
• You neglect your children
• *cough* child neglecter *cough*
• You’re so high when you get out of the car; the world gets a glimpse of your birth canal.
• When the world finally does see it, all the guys cringe.
• Half of which don’t believe it is what it is
• Your new best friends are recognized by the amounts of blow and blowing they do
• Your friend is Paris Hilton
• Seriously, do you think anybody would trust her with a multibillion dollar establishment?
• Your other friend’s hobbies include an 8-ball of coke and high speed joyrides
• Sex tape? Uh-oh, you betcha!
• Worth watching? Probably not!
• You married a back-up dancer oblivious to the fact you’re gonna get used.
• The only way your spouse can hit it off is by rapping (terribly)
• Than on top of that… He leaves you!
• Oh yeah, Mr. Dumb as a pole great white hype; is likely to win the custody battle
• Custody Battle? More like custody no-brainer
• You shave your ugly mug and cry about your parents not loving you!
Dream on hooker! You did this to yourself! So I found something suitable for this situation.

My prediction of what’s to come for Madam Spears (in no particular order)
• After album flops, so does idolism.
• Clinic within a year
• Book within 3 years
• Clinic within 3 years also
• Attempt at a return tour
• Fails
• Moves to Miami (they all seem to go there, must have free buffets)
• That E! THS remake on her life.
• No royalties
• Remember that tie she wore in that one performance? It’s used to keep her body up in the closet of her hotel room. Percocet and empty gold paint cans found strewn about.
• Jessica Simpson plays Britney in the made for TV movie entitled “Britney”
• Poor reviews
• Remembered as that “one chick girl that used to be really hot, ya know? Before all that stuff…”
• Linked to Clinton and some “Happy Birthday remix”. Cigars not present…
The joys of Stardom… We can only dream.