Phishr Chronicles

“I’m looking for a skinny girl with a fat girl personality”

Seems shallow? Yes. Meant to be shallow? No.  But is it true? I’ll let you decide.

Ever notice that the majority of skinny attractive girls have terrible, rotten, empty personalities. They cannot make conversation so they talk about Mtv, Victoria Secret sales, and their next tanning adventure. Behind those huge designer sunglasses lies emptiness. An emptiness that drowns anything into a blackhole of nothingness. Cosmopolitan, Tequila Rose shots, and Coach purses.

I’m in love with it. ALL of it. However, as time has passed and a certain level of maturity and self respect have made their foundation to my future, I need more. Sure they’re fun to play with. Just like the video games at Best Buy. You can sit there all day playing one, but you dare take it home.

 Now hold that thought. That was the easy part.

 Now lets discuss the other side of this theory.  The not so skinny girls.  Don’t stop reading here, because this is where the pieces fall together. Admit it. Now I say not so skinny girls because I’d probably get a ton of responses in regards to “not being p.c.” or “judgemental”. Well when I use the term “fat”, let it be known I mean, “not skinny”. You can be fat and beautiful. Easily. Just as easily as you can be skinny and whorishly disgusting. So enough beating around the buffet, here it goes…

Fat girls have the greatest personalities on this earth. I link this to the social food chain. They are not to the same advantage as a skinny girl, so they must develop a means of survival; the opportunity to turn the tables.  Fat girls have the ability to hone in on your personality, determine your interests through reading your expressions, and cater to this personality.  This can be used for good and evil.  It could be an argument in it’s own that skinny girls unconsciencely bring fat girls around because they are the life of the party. They have nothing to talk about so they bring the missing piece to make up for it.

I just feel like I covered every A) island at every golden corral or b) every whore sale at the mall.

I now plan on making a Venn Diagram

The sound of a shotgun cocking is an unconscious male aphrodisiac.

No doubt. When I here a shotgun cock, I start pelvic thrusting the air. I hope I can get a copy of the surveillance video if I’m ever in a bank and they rob it with shotguns… How exciting it is…

It’s like a detonator for a guy. I hear a gun cock, I’m ready. It’s a euphoric pleasure overload.

Other guns have an effect. But none like the pure duel *CLACK* of a shotgun.

A revolvers hammer coming back is like a foot massage and a turkey sandwich compared to a shotty.  The thrill of hearing a shotgun cock brings out the carnal instincts in me.

A bolt action; ehhh. It’s like a glass of wine, it’ll do, but you can’t quite grasp the full effect. One can’t just enjoy one on a night out, you end up trying to fill the void that a shotgun, and ONLY a shotgun can fill.

No wonder guns and booze are always considered a bad idea.  The booze lowers your inhibitions to clearly define and “yesser” and a “not a chance”. All girls become “ehhhhyyeeaaah”.  Than you add the mysterious repercussion the crisp sound a shotgun makes and you are a walking genital.

I could make an adult movie out of 2 hours of shotguns cocking in Bose surround sound and my lady would be the happiest gal ever.

Are you a:

girl?

Who can cock a shotgun?

email me.

Because Liberals are so wicked. Lets spend tax money to keep crack heads up in houses so they don’t send them back to their country…

Drug Dealers Going Free Under San Francisco Sanctuary Law

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

A sanctuary ordinance in San Francisco is protecting young drug dealers from federal deportation in what a U.S. prosecutor is calling a “gaming of the system” for illegal immigrants.

The San Francisco Juvenile Probation Department has been shipping underage crack dealers to group homes in an effort to shield them from the feds under the city’s 1989 “City of Refuge” ordinance, which prohibits city employees from informing Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents of illegal immigrants.

Up until last month, the department flew the drug dealers back to their home countries without informing ICE agents. But now, after being sent to the group homes under the new policy, the youths just run away.

“These kids are gaming the system,” Joseph P. Russoniello, U.S. Attorney for the Northern District of California, told FOXNews.com. “Whoever they are, they’re playing it like a Stradivarius because the cops are saying they’re seeing these characters three and four times.”

As first reported in the San Francisco Chronicle, eight Honduran crack dealers escaped from youth rehabilitation centers run by Silverlake Youth Services in San Bernardino County in recent weeks.

Russoniello would neither confirm nor deny an investigation into the department’s shielding of illegal immigrants, but he told FOXNews.com that he was first informed in January of ICE’s brushes with the city’s probation officers as they transported detainees south of the border via the Houston airport.”They had stopped them and found out that they were — despite the fact that they had claimed they were juveniles — they were adults,” Russoniello said. “In some cases, they were convicted felons; in other cases, they had actually entered the country after deportation, and so on.”

The U.S. Attorney’s Office approached the city for an explanation and was told on June 16 that the probation department had ceased deporting underage offenders.

Russoniello said that still did not “resolve the ultimate problem, which is why wasn’t juvenile probation reporting to ICE that they had in their custody people who were illegal aliens?” He said he’s still awaiting an answer from the city.

Requests for comment from Mayor Gavin Newsom and the city’s probation department and attorney’s office were not returned.

“We are abiding by the sanctuary city ordinance,” William Siffermann, the chief of the Juvenile Probation Department, told the Chronicle.

Last year, Newsom ordered the city’s departments to develop training on the ordinance. In April, he began a public awareness campaign to promote the city’s sanctuary policy to undocumented residents.

Siffermann told the paper that his agency flew home only offenders who had failed all other rehabilitative efforts, from foster care and juvenile detention to probation.

Greg Palmore, an ICE spokesman in Houston, referred all questions by FOXNews.com to the Justice Department. But he told the Chronicle that “although San Francisco is a sanctuary city, it’s a problem whenever someone attempts to evade the law. … Our law does not allow us to turn a blind eye to any individual who has come into this country illegally.”

Siffermann defended the city’s policy to shield youthful offenders from deportation.

“It might prevent them from obtaining citizenship,” he told the paper.

Russoniello disagreed.

“No matter whose immigration reform is adopted, nobody is going to have a line for people who are drug dealers to get the benefit of amnesty or citizenship,” he said. “So you’re wasting your time trying to protect them.”

Words cannot describe my exact deepest inner feelings about this….

What does OU and reefer have in common?

THEY BOTH GET SMOKED IN BOWLS

AAAHAHAHAHAHA

boomer sooner boomer sooner boomer sooner boom…..eeeerrrrrrr…..

Let’s give a rah for West Virginia
And let us pledge to her anew,
Others may be black or crimson,
but for us it’s Gold and Blue.
Let all our troubles be forgotten,
Let college spirit rule,
We’ll join and give our loyal efforts
For the good of our old school.

It’s West Virginia, It’s West Virginia
The Pride of every Mountaineer.
Come on you old grads, join with us young lads,
It’s West Virginia now we cheer!
Now is the time, boys, to make a big noise
No matter what the people say,
For there is naught to fear; the gang’s all here,
So hail to West Virginia, Hail!!!!!!!!

ousted by the “shitty conference team” for 2 years in a row?!?!?!

Sooner born sooner bred and when I die I’ll be sooner dead?
………yeah…. dead on arrival…..

ahhhhh… ok, let me have it…