Sonic “Americas Drive-Thru” Broken Arrow, OK 74011
I really enjoyed this Sonic for the span that it was open. To bad I have to do this.
I visit one evening with my simple order of “2 corny dogs and a tate tot”
They brought it out rather “sonic” like which really impressed me. It was around 8:30 p.m. When I returned home, I learned why this food was brought to me in such a “sonic matter”.
My corny dogs were rotten.
Abso-freaking-lutely cold rotten. The outer cornmeal was hard, crunchy, and when I finally broke it open, it was dark brown in color. Then I gazed upon my hot dog.
It looked like my hotdog suffered from leprosy and had long been decomposed. It resembled a monkey finger left in the sun.
I have never been so pissed about the quality of something that is relatively so simple to produce.
Like fucking up a glass of water.
I bit the bullet (figuratively) and enjoyed my tate-tots in frustration.
Fast forward 2 weeks.
Stink and I left a local pub and on the way back to his house we decided to pull into the Sonic.
Stink ordered the usual fast food crap and I once again ordered my 2 corny dogs and a tate-tot trying to repress the memory in the back of my head that the last time I did this I ordered a Maserati and got a Huffy.
We get back to Stinks house, not forgetting to mention that the whole way back to his house I’m bitching about my last Sonic experience. We go into his kitchen and sit down. I unsheath my meal on a popsicle stick. I bite into it. It immediately feels like I was punched in the mouth by Ivan Drago off of Rocky 4. I tear back the cornmeal coating.
Once again, hot dog looked like sundried ape finger.
Stink begins laughing hysterically.
THESE MOTHERF……
The next few minutes I didn’t remember a thing. It was continuous lines of profanity and threats.
I composed myself and prepared for the phonecall.
When I called them I talked with an employee first off that spoke like he was a supporting actor in a Cheech and Chong movie.
He passed the phone to the manager like it was a blunt.
Sonic night manager, “This is *so and so not important* what can I do for you?”
Hi, I cannot seem to get an adequate corny dog without it looking like a turd. I know they are only 99 cents but I invest in these quite frequently, and lately, well sir, your corny dogs have been significantly below par.
(I like talking like an asshole to these guys while remaining respectful)
Sonic manager, “Yeah sir, see during the winter, we found that we can precook the food in the early afternoon then just reheat it when people order it later.”
Note: I can tell they are all laughing at my terminology for corn dogs. I should have called them “cornbattered pig/dog/rat anus blessed by a fryer containing a fair abundant mixture of human saliva and other unmentionables” but he probably would have directed me towards NASA.
“WAIT! YOU KNEW OF THIS TECHNIQUE!?”
I for one am completely for streamlining production, but NEVER when it compromises the quality of a product or service. This includes corny dogs.
He says, “well yeah, I mean, we do it during the summer when it’s busy cause the food really doesn’t have time to go bad, I guess they just carried that little trick over to winter time?”
I am beside myself. I mean his honesty is impressive but wow… You seriously just spilled to a customer your disgusting habits. I can only imagine the filth that goes on in there.
He “credited” my Visa with the amount that was owed at time of purchase. I never looked on my bank statement because.. well it was like 3 dollars. I don’t care that much.
I get more pleasure in writing about it.
A few months later I’m sitting at a bar when a guy comes through cussing up a storm. He said he ordered a burger from there, they screwed it up in ways unimaginable. They took the burger back, then served it to him again; this time cold and unchanged. He proceeded to get up and smear it all over the window before getting in his car and driving off. That was good enough for me.
I’ll just pretend I had an imaginary part in the payback he “claims” he had.
