I know the absence has been great with all of the planning for FKFmas. But FKF is over. We are 1 year away from a bigger, better, much improved event. Some numbers from this years float trip.
Number of people:350+
Number of fights:0
Number of ambulances seen:1
Number of “life flashing before my eyes moment”: 2 (thanks Heather)
Sets of “boobies flashing before my eyes”: 9
Total amount of boobies seen: 17
Number of beads to start the float: 2
Number of beads when I got off the float: 7
Bead refunds for poor boobies: 1
Offers for boobs to me in exchange for my fake mustache: 2
Offers of mustache rides: 140+
Number of times my mustache made for a female happy trail: 1
Husband, wife, and kids seen overturned and stuck in a tree: 3
Amount of family members I offered help to: 3
Amount of help I actually did: 0 (woops)
Beers drank in this period: 2
Girls mud wrestling at once: 4
Four girls mudwrestling on a scale of 1 to 10: 10! A FUCKING 10!
Summer is on and I have a pretty exciting lineup. Expect some good material coming soon!
~PHISHR