Phishr Chronicles

Once in the Tulsa city limits, I’ll ask of you to follow these instructions for the most amazing thing known to man. I want to thank Stink and his pops for this. Simply Amazing.

BE SURE THAT:

a) You are not wearing anything that will get your ass kicked
b) A ten dollar bill
c) 2 quarters WARNING: IF YOU DON”T TAKE 2 QUARTERS, THIS WILL NOT WORK.

Directions:

1) Exit on Memorial off of Highway 51 (Broken Arrow Expressway)

2) Head north on Memorial until you get to the light at 33rd and turn west.

3) Locate the establishment with motorcycles lined up EVERYWHERE. I promise, you won’t miss it.

4) Enter establishment. Do not make eye contact with anyone. Only speak when spoken too.

5) Find spot at bar. Locate bartender with long hair, cute face, and is amazingly “top heavy”

6) Gain her attention. Order beer. Set two quarters at edge of bar approximately 6 inches apart.

7) Place remaining amount of ten after beer behind the quarters you have so strategically placed. For this will be the tip. (Note: she could be busy. Remain patient.)

8)Make eye contact, draw attention to quarters. Smile.

9) Watch out for ice, enjoy show.

10) You have just witnessed the most amazing thing in your life. You are now clear to die happily.

A FEW HELPFUL SIDE NOTES:

As I was only in there for only 1 hour and 45 minutes, I witnessed 2 fights and almost a smooth parking lot boot party.  Watch your mouth partner, you’re the outsider here.

Don’t eyeball any guys hag. That is HIS hag. Not yours.

Was that a drug deal you just saw? No it wasn’t… You saw nothing.

Don’t leave your hag passed out at the bar. For this is quite disrespectful and will result in a shattered pool cue lodged under your ribs.

 The peanuts are safe. Just don’t suck the salt off.

Keep it clean. Just keep telling yourself that

It might appear that witnessing this show is not worth your life. Well you’re very wrong. It is. Your life is meaningless until you witness this.  You’ll be fine just as long as you follow my steps to survival. They are all genuinely nice people. You treat them with respect and they’ll buy you beers and watch your back.