Phishr Chronicles

What would you do if one of your closest friends was inappropriate with your significant other?

What would you do if your friend did this three times to three separate girls that you dated in a span of 4 weeks?

I’ll tell you what my friend ”AWOL” did…

The first incident was kind of difficult because of the situation.  It happened on a night of a banquet. Him and his girlfriend had gotten in an argument and it probably didn’t help that my date for the evening was a married woman… Who just happened to be my best friends (Norm) sister. 

Oh pish posh, anyways, I was probably the most horrible guy ever that night. I’ll admit it right off the back. I night filled with best friend’s married sister’s and best friend’s girlfriends; right off the back it doesn’t sound good. But you put me in the Kerr Mansion to run crazy with a house full of beautiful women and all of my best friends… Bad stuff will inevitably happen.

Me (on the phone), “Hey dude, last night was pretty wild”

AWOL, “Yeah, I hear that… (something about fighting all night)

Me, “Hey bro, listen, I kinda hooked up with your girl last night”

AWOL, “…….wow, well I respect your honesty, that means alot to me”

Me, “Thank you for not killing me, I’m sorry.”

As if that wasn’t bad enough, AWOL begins dating another girl. Cute girl, I had partied with her in the past. She was quite attractive. As legend has it, Norm and his girlfriend at the time (the darkness) went on a romantic weekend he had asked me to house sit for the night and watch his pug. I agreed and headed over there after work. As I walked in his apartment door I noticed Awols’ new girl sitting on the couch watching television.

Me, “What the hell are you doing here?”

Her, “(the darkness) asked me to watch the apartment and he pug, what the hell are you doing over?”

Me, “Norm told me to do the same thing…”

—next morning—

Me (on the phone), “Hey AWOL whats up”

AWOL, “Nothing man, what about you.”

Me, “Hey dude, listen. I kinda messed around with that girl you are/were dating”.

AWOL, “……. (deep breath), thanks for your honesty bro,that rally means alot to know that you wouldn’t lie to me.”

At this time I walked on egg shells around him. I know I deserved a swift punch in the mouth to say the least. But it never came. I was overall surprised because as much partying as we did together, one would assume that any given night, emotions would run high and I could be found in the back yard in a shallow grave. But it never happened.

AWOL starts talking to this new girl. She was a freshmen at the time, and she had this really cute friend. I wanted AWOL’s new girl to introduce me to her. (on a side note: AWOL has always been strange when it comes to public appearances. He would at times literally go AWOL without anyone’s knowledge and no one would see or hear from him in days.)

On this particular night I had Awol’s new girl come over and try get her friend over as well. When she arrived without her friend or AWOL, I was a little disappointed, however I don’t get completely depressed because I was reassured all night that “she would come by in a bit”.  We all sat around drinking and having typical college fun. As the night progressed and friend never showed up I told Awol’s girl I would drop her off and head home.

—Next morning—

Me (on the phone), “Hey dude, what’s been up? Haven’t heard from you in a few days?”

AWOL, “Yeah.”

Me, “So, hey listen man, I got something to tell you”

AWOL, “……….I really appreciate your honesty. That means alot to me.”