Phishr Chronicles

Yes. I did. What I am about to document is one of the biggest “open mouth insert foot” moments of my life. In all honesty, I never meant anything bad, but they are certainly the moments that make you say to yourself after it is all said and done, “what was I really thinking”.

 Cousins wedding.

It was a nice wedding. Kind of like a cowboy wedding. It was held at the Will Rogers Museum in Claremore, OK. I went with my pops and oldest sister.  We were of course the fashionably late ones.  Nothing new there for me to say the least.  I personally like museums and besides, I was having a great time catching up with people and meeting friends of the family when I noticed this cute girl going to and from the bar more than usual (even for my standards).  She was drinking wine quickly and aggressively. This caught my attention because in all reality, that is something I typically do. It was nice to see someone else doing this for a change.  That’s about the time I learned what that proverb “you can’t see the forest from the trees” meant. It was funny.

As the night progressed I took note that in fact she was walking with a stumble everytime she got up.  I could only assume it had something to do with the amount of wine she was putting away. I finished my glass and approached the bartender for a refill. While he was filling my glass I had noticed that Stumbly McStagger was standing in line right behind me. I decided to make acquaintances with the female wedding version of me. 

Me, “By the way you’re walking, it appears you’re enjoying the wine about as much as I am!”

Her, (lifting bottom of dress up) “Nope… Just my prosthetic leg.”

Oh yeah. Just like that. Thank god her boxing gloves were thick, because my ego took the hardest hit from that silly little ice breaker. Girls, you wonder why guys never get too creative with one liners? Its because of moments like this. She smiled so I figured either she was friendly and passive or just really drunk and thought I was cute for the attempt. Either way I closed out the night looking at art by myself. This is why I don’t approach anymore…