I walked into my local watering hole on a Monday to watch some college hoops and have some beers. There were maybe 6 other people sitting at the bar when I walked in. And believe me, when I walked in, the atmosphere got quite interesting…
University of Texas had just moved up to 5 in the nation and were playing a tough Kansas State team in Manhattan (K-State). I had already missed the first half so I sat down quickly at a table by myself in front of the pubs’ big screen. I was only there for about 20 minutes when an older gentleman walked through the door. He was in his 70’s, overweight, and on top of that he carried an oxygen tank. I thought nothing of it at the time and glanced back up at the television. As he dragged by me he patted my knee and said “How are you this evening young man?”. I replied back “great now that I’m getting my sports fix” and he chuckled and continued walking past. As the old man was behind me he did something that I could only imagine.
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Yes. I did. What I am about to document is one of the biggest “open mouth insert foot” moments of my life. In all honesty, I never meant anything bad, but they are certainly the moments that make you say to yourself after it is all said and done, “what was I really thinking”.
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I, Stink, have never felt as good as I did after my first MILF. The premise to the story is a trip to Corpus Christi, TX with my old roommate whose parents had a condo on the beach. My roommate, Guile, so named because he had a Street Fighter II Arcade game in our apartment and he always kicked my ass with the character Guile. Well him and I left Tulsa and drove the 12 to 13 hours to Corpus Christi the summer before his last year in school. It was August and my number 1 goal was to get as drunk as possible and hook up with some girls. His number 1 goal was to just get drunk since at the time he had a girlfriend.
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This is an embarrassing one. This was the last time I acted like this. The most ridiculous state I’ve ever been in. If it had a name, it would just be the adjective to the 8th power night. Me and an old fraternity brother “Norm” had developed a friendship fueled with the same love for belligerent drunken actions. This night is still talked about amongst people we don’t even know.
I lived in a house right near the college that everyone walked by on the way to the bar. Majority of the times we would just sit on the front porch, discuss fraternity issues like a couple of savvy entrepreneurs and shotgun beers. When 2 would roll around all of the people leaving the bar and clubs would walk by and we would either chat with the passing friends, catcall at the cute girls, or ramble drunken obscenities to the other frat guys. This night in particular Norm and I were celebrating/mourning his new found “freedom”. He was gone. I remember him eating a can of snuff for shits and giggles. I, on the other hand, was a 2nd year freshman in no hurry to grow up so I found myself staying up with him and drinking… Alot.
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She could organize a revolution in a blink of an eye
The supreme ruler
Her scream fuels the fires of hell, in which she controls.
Even a simple sneeze could make the gods bow at her feet.
She holds the duties of judge, jury AND executioner. The latter of course.. Is her favorite
Talons sharp as a diamonds edge
Curious over what happened to Tupac? She happened
That wasn’t a hurricane that hit New Orleans. She just gave it a once over.
The crying souls beg to be spared, which she merely turns the other way
She feasts on the remains of her prey
She stands 11 inches tall
And she likes squeeky toys and hot dogs