My sheltie was just clawing at the back door while i was on the phone. I go to let her out and she makes a b-line dash off the porch and jump in the grass. I kinda looked at her like, “what the hell?… Weirdo” and continued on about my fantasy team wth a friend and watch her as she stared back at me almost smiling with her long mouth open.
This stareoff went on for a little less then a minute when she stuffs her snout in the grass and proceeds to get after something. I am now becoming interested in what type of entertainment she found and become curious myself. Right as I open the door she plops down chin first and starts to wrestle an wallow in whatever she found. Now, I’m like “Oh boy! Me Next! (its the a.d.d. I think, ask any of my close frie… oooh butterflies!)
My walk now turns into a swift brisk speed walk WHILE ending the conversion on the phone. As I am now 10 feet from pooki she suddenly stops, stands up, and looks at me. I am in shock… She nose-dived into shit and proceeded to roll in it.. Yeah! RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I am so mad I am laughing.. So is she. (if she could, you could see it in her eyes though).
I walk chase her back inside and she is now sitting in the dining room giving me the “lets play ball” look. I’m giving her the “If I didn’t love you so much I’d Vick ya” look. I have to document this so I grab my camera and take pictures of my dog wearing a doodoo beard. I grab the shampoo in one hand, my poo ridden dog under the other arm and we journey to the tub.
Oh, but its not over…
I basically hold my wuss of a dog in the tub and continue scrubbing the poo out of her (literally). This treatment goes on for about 10 minutes, trying to hold her still in the water while washing her, a challenging task. We get done. She jumps out, shakes her wet ass thick coat off every 5 steps as I chase her trying to dry her off before I have to clean water up everywhere.
I take her outside, brush her out, now she looks like she has cornrows..
freakin pook doggy dogg.
We go back inside and I scold her… Then it happens..
She is sitting down on the living room floor, and I am trying to take a picture of how funny she looks with cornrows and trying not to laugh as I tell her how bad she is. Then i noticed she was sitting funny. Like she was on her ass, but her legs were up off the ground. I said to myself, “why the hell are you… wait…NOOOO!!!!”
Pooki had a buttrace across the white living room carpet.
Pooki proceeded to wipe her butt in a 1 1/2 foot poo streak. My dog peeled out on my living room carpet right in front of me! AS I WAS SCOLDING HER FOR PLAYING IN IT! I am hysterically laughing and she thinks I’m playing so she tries it again! I jar out, “Pooki stop laying skidmarks on he white carpet you dumbass!!!” It’s a shitfest and I’m the circusmaster, and pooki is the center ring.
I’m indecisive on what her new nickname should be:
Poopi
Dooki or
Madam Shitchin McSkidmarks
also note, while I am typing this my other dog Penny is sitting behind me cleaning her ass. If they were humans, you could write a sitcom about them.
What a day…
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