Some of the best stories I have are rather short and to the point. I could elaborate on every little detail and this would only be a few paragraphs long. Oh well here it goes.
Summer 2007.
I took a trip down to Tahlequah to catch up with some old friends and fraternity brothers. This weekend is probably better remembered to some as the weekend I got *cough* “grabbed by the guy *cough* but I look at the positive of everything. Like this moment…
We were all drinking in the front yard of the “new” frat-tastic party house. The guys and I were slamming beers in the front yard all morning and afternoon. This block was different because the 3 houses that were lined up to one another are all notorious party houses with significant names such as “The Rock House”, “Grand Avenue Country Club”, “The Ole Rugby House”, and at one time there was “The Greenhouse” but it was no longer inhabited by the “party type”. These three houses would get parties going at once and it was one giant block party.
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Although I wasn’t the immediate culprit in this wrong doing, I will take this opportunity to publicly post what I will claim as MY payback.
The Foundation- July 2005
Our good friend Stevo had his “bachelor party” as a camping trip on Ft. Gibson lake in Oklahoma. It was to be a weekend of massive drinking and cooking out. This weekend was the typical crew (Stevo, Stink, Treez, Skeet, Corgy, just to name a few). As the evening progressed, so did or B.A.C.’s. I soon fell into a drunken stupor and parked my drunk ass into a mesh chair and passed out, hard.
This is where the crew had their fun.
The next day I woke up covered in sand. I guess after I drifted into a hard somber, Skeet began throwing shovel fulls of sand in my lap. Then to my feet, etc. Before long I was buried up to my neck. One of the guys put an empty beer box on my head and I believe it was Corgy who urinated all over me. I woke up sometime soon, and they said they all laughed as I performed ignorant drunken tasks. I woke up with no recollection.
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One Thursday in 11th grade we decided to go party at the lake. The reason for this is because the next day was Junior Jam day which equates to powder puff football and jumping on trampolines all day. It’s the same day as graduation for the seniors. So we packed our mansion tent which was a massive 3 room tent and we bought multiple cases of beer and all headed for the lake. The motley crew that went was me (Stink), Phishr, Treez, Danimal and O’Dis.
When we got to the lake low and behold there was 5 girls at the very next camp site. Could you think how happy us adolescent boys were. They weren’t the most attractive of girls but you know…we were drinking so they started to look a little better. Well these girls are from a town not to far from the lake or our hometown called Haskell. It’s really a miserable excuse for a town…you know the type with one stoplight. Well anywho at another campsite there was this kid named Coweta Chris who was the biggest douchebag and me and him almost fought cause he was being mean to the girls and I was trying to be nice so we could get lucky. He finally left and all of us decided to go swimming.
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I have a new contributor on the site now. I like expansion, and he will draw more traffic (with time of course). There are a few others I will extend an invitation to. Look forward to more silly stories and whatnot in the future…
Growing up is sooo fun!
Years ago I believe we were in 10th grade; we had a long weekend in October for Columbus Day. I was hanging around all the familiar people like Treez, Skeet, Eskimo and a guy named Nick. We had been drinking at various places throughout the night and we had our eye on the prize…chickenheads (aka, easy women on the block). There were a few girls we had that we were supposed to hang around but there are many turns and twists throughout the night. I was riding with Skeet in his truck and Treez and Nick were riding in Nick’s truck with Eskimo driving…under suspended license. We drank at various people’s houses all night and then we went to AHAB’s…a Muslim gas stations that sold us tobacco and beer while we were underage. We went in and grabbed a couple cases and proceeded to walk outside and these two quasi-attractive but drunkable girls that asked me what we were up to. They were at the phone booth saying they were waiting on some guys to call back from the page they sent him, but he wasn’t calling them back. They asked me if we wanted to hang out and of course I said…MAYBE. I was horny and young at the time; maybe 15 years old. Well I got their number and then we proceeded to try and go to another party but on the way out Skeet and me kept driving but Eskimo peeled out in Nick’s truck and of course Johnny Law was there waiting. He pulled them over and we kept going and wound up at Skeet’s house. We called the skanks from the gas station and as we walked outside Nick’s mom dropped off Eskimo in the driveway. He told us of tales of them spraying Michael Jordan cologne in their mouths to get rid of the alcohol smell and that the cops let them go with Nick getting a Minor in Possession and the other guys could get taken home by his mom without any repercussions. So us three, Eskimo, Skeet and me went to the earlier mentioned skank’s apartment which was set in Section 8 housing and come to find out it was her cousin’s house who was on welfare with a young boy. We walked into the living room and there they were…not two like earlier but three this time. We drank and partied and talked and so on but it soon led me into a chugging contest with Skeet. He won; I got fucked up and did the inevitable. I took the one that liked me into a room…decorated with children’s toys and a crib. The baby wasn’t in the crib mind you. Well I did the deed and went back to the living room to drink more. The third girl…the new one wasn’t there anymore so there we were 3 guys and 2 girls. Well 30 minutes passed by and then me and Eskimo noticed that we were with only one girl and Skeet and the one that I had already boned was nowhere in sight. 10 minutes later they arose from the very bedroom I did her in not even 1 hour earlier.
[Side note: Skeet hit it and he was a virgin before that night. He lost his virginity to a complete hoe that his friend did only a short time before that.]
Anyways…20 minutes after he got his then made up a lie that his mom paged him and he high-tailed it out of there leaving me and Eskimo behind. We were lost so we did what other respecting young men would have done. We kept drinking until we could forget the night. I awoke some time later to Eskimo slapping me on the face telling me to wake up and smoke a cigarette with him. Eskimo went to the balcony to smoke and he told me he watched the two girls take my penis out and they were digging their teeth into it. I got scared so he went to the bathroom cause he had to piss and he filled the shampoo bottles with piss and then the cousin of one of the sluts woke up from work around 5 and took us both home. We dropped Eskimo off at his house but I had her drop me off at a house that was in my neighborhood but about 4 blocks away so there was no way they could find out where I was.
The moral to the story: Don’t take achickenheads invitation to hang out with her if she is standing at the PayPhone at AHAB’s waiting on another guy to call her